MUSIC mogul Simon Cowell let his Mr Nasty mask slip to sob over the death of his beloved dad, in a telly interview with his pal Piers Morgan. An emotional Cowell described it as a "horrible, horrible time" that made things like hit records "just meaningless".
And the X Factor judge said of his father Eric: "He was my best friend and he gave me so much good advice and I'll always remember that."
The grief hit Simon so hard he can no longer go to funerals.
EMI executive Eric suffered a fatal heart attack in 1999 - on the very day his son's band Westlife got their first US No1.
Strange
The song, Swear It Again, had been chosen by Eric and a very proud Simon phoned his parents from America to tell them.
But heartbroken mum Julie couldn't bring herself to destroy her son's joy - so she called him later to say his dad had died.
Recalling both phone calls, Simon, 50, said: "It was the two positions of just total euphoria because I believed in the band and I wanted to share the news with my mum and dad - and then the news of what had happened and I had to get back to England.
"I went back and realised that your first responsibility is that you've got to look after your mum."
Julie, 84 - also on the Piers Morgan's Life Stories show - said: "He just went to pieces.
"He was very shocked, it was unexpected. I never realised how emotional he was until this."
Simon's reaction even surprised himself. He told his fellow Britain's Got Talent judge Piers: "It was a horrible, horrible, horrible time. You believe everyone is going to live forever and they don't and all the stuff you think you care about, the hit records and stuff like that, it's just meaningless."
Weeping and talking in broken sentences, Cowell went on: "I can't admit things, that's why I can't go to funerals and stuff like that. I find it very, very difficult to deal with that kind of reality. I shut myself off totally because it affects me so badly.
"And then, because I had to deal with that, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do - because I'd never lost anyone in my life. I just couldn't accept it."
Our photo above shows a young Cowell with two brothers and his mum and dad in the 60s.
Simon, who recently got engaged to make-up artist Mezghan Hussainy, 36, said of his parents' relationship: "It was unbelievably happy, to the point where the superstitious side of me goes, 'I couldn't follow that.'"
It was Eric who started Cowell on his path to mega-fame by getting him a job as an EMI mailroom clerk when he was 20. And Simon's high-waisted trouser style comes from his dad, as does his love of jetting away for sunny holidays at Christmas.
Simon, thinking about his career, said: "Dad would have got a kick out of this, you know, and I often think about that.
"I would have liked to have seen his reaction because I think he would have found it good fun."
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